Remarriage after a divorce

Divorces are never pleasant. No matter how mature the partners have been divorce will mean a sudden breakdown of an old relationship and remarriage, a substitute. So it is natural for your children to resent you for having “done away” with their or mum. They may bring it up in conversation, breakdown in tears and even use abusive language about you or your new partner. The first step is not to feel guilty or start6 regretting your decision. A little regret and children pick it up and play on it. Be firm about ad put the fact that he’s your new husband. But don’t insist that child accept him as a father, if he has a good father in your divorced husband. And no matter what the temptation, don’t criticize your ex-husband.

If however, you’ve always shielded your child from the fights or kept him in the dark about why split (as he was too young or you thought it would unnecessarily damage the image he has of his father), known that the divorce may be far more difficult for him to deal with. If your child remembers your marriage as a relatively happy one, he’ll be disbelieving. So communicate to him as best as you can that the decision to get a divorce or remarry was far from easy for you too. These choices are life-changing as much for you as they are for him. So he should trust your judgment and try to see that you did what you thought would be best for your future and his. Also, remarriage doesn’t mean he has to sever ties with his dad or mum.